Today I am feeling overwhelmed and depleted. I am dealing with feelings of grief and a sense of uselessness beyond reposting as much information and content I can about what is happening in Iran. I know that meeting this moment with fierceness requires that I take care of myself along the way. But I am met with immense guilt. I get lost in thoughts like: Why do I get the privilege of taking a break? Why do I get to take time off and unwind while there is a revolution happening my homeland? It feels wrong to take a step back from the news and take care of myself when my family back home are enduring sleepless nights, grieving and living in fear.
But I know this way of thinking is not healthy. Rather than seeing taking care of myself as being selfish at a time like this, I must remember that collective care goes hand-in-hand with self care. THE SURVIVOR'S GUILT IS REAL. But I must also consider how I can leverage my privilege as someone living in the U.S. by creating routines that honor my capacities so that I can continue to present and amplify the voices and stories in Iran. I have made a point to take moments of pause and check in with myself.
I ask myself: Have I been drinking water today? When was the last time I ate? Can I take a moment away from the news to stop and breathe? Would stepping outside for a walk make me feel better?
Survivor's guilt is something that so many of us living outside of our home countries deal with. And this feeling is even more amplified in times of crisis. But we must TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES in order to SHOW UP for those we have left behind. I promise it's not selfish. Our families and communities need us to remain strong, aware, and healthy so that we can continue to organize and advocate for their freedom.
(Best timing for writing this article, I will continue to outreach for Allynetwork again in my free time.)
It defiantly helped me.